here I go..

Tonight my brain feels so overwhelmed with different thoughts and ideas. It has become so difficult to keep track of everything, so I decided a blog might help.

The past few months, I have been stressing myself over one of the most important decisions of my life: my career. I know for a fact that God has called me to a lifetime involvement in the youth ministry. That has been and always will be one of the greatest passions in my life. There is something amazing about witnessing the spiritual growth and maturity that happens throughout a teenagers journeys. However, I am not the best public speaker and so I do not believe I am meant to be a youth pastor..more like the youth pastors wife or something. And so, it would be best for me to also have my own career to partner with youth ministry. Recently I have been considering going to school for counseling. I feel like that is something I would love to do and would work great with youth ministry. It would prepare me to work with the students on an individual level.

Along with that decision, I also have to decide if I want to stay at SEU or transfer to another school. I love southeastern and I love being in Florida. However, the school is way too expensive if I'm not planning on majoring in ministry. I could probably get a full ride (or close to one) at Rutgers, which would also be a better degree for psychology. Better yet, I would be back home, which is where I feel I belong. I think I need a pro/con list...

PROS

Rutgers: closer to home, better degree, much much cheaper, more money for masters, help out in youth group, gain more experience and opens more doors for youth, NYC, Philly, Ocean City

Southeastern: in Florida, great friends, college experience, Disney, beaches

CONS

Rutgers: live back home, not much of a college experience

Southeastern: so far from home, nothing to do in Lakeland, not the greatest degree for psychology, pretty expensive, not many youth experience opportunities

Well...that seemed to make the answer obvious. And yet I am still so undecided. I don't want to make a decision and regret it or feel like I'm missing out on something. When I think about my future, Rutgers makes so much more sense. When I think about college experience, SEU seems like the perfect choice. I don't know and this is stressing me out. I need God to speak.